Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
