U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
