when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
