spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
