He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
did i just pee glitter
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