There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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