In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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