That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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