I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
