waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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