who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
