Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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