All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
