Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
