Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
