i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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