if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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