I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
