Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
