Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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