oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
