Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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