I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
