We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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