This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
