Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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