Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
