Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
