Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
