it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
