Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
one might say we're banned from that church
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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