is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
