woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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