I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
