its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
