Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
