dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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