just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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