"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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