The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
