Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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