eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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