have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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