So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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