I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize