We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
