I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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