I need help removing her.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I bet he comes in French.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
