great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
