So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
