Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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