cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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