they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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