I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
