The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
