Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
