Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize