I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
