Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
