ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
