My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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