btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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