what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
