But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
