Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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