I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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