White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
